20 Questions
by bookwormtsb
Summary: Three roommates take it upon themselves to find boyfriends for Fay and Hermione resulting in a huge misunderstanding and a very awkward date with Draco Malfoy/


I stretched out lazily in bed and watched from under my duvet as my three roommates rushed around the circular room.

Parvati Patil cursed angrily at her reflection after tugging on her jumper had left her hair looking flyaway.

Lavender Brown smoothed down the front of her robes and scrutinused her profile from the full-length mirror beside her bed before turning to face the mirror. She tapped her breast with her wand and a flash of pink signalled a simple enlargement charm.

My lip quirked, I wanted to comment with something sarcastic and dismissive but Lavender Brown could make my life hell with a click of her manicured fingers. Lavender bit her lip and sighed.

"Come in a bit at the waist Lav."

Romilda Vane shrilled from the bathroom. As she appeared in the doorway, mascara brush in hand. I thought maybe she should change the spelling of her last name to 'vain', it suited her a million times better. Lavender nodded in agreement and tapped the wand in at her waist causing it to shrink an inch or two with a flash of yellow light.

"Perfect!" Fay Dumbar agreed from the bed next to me. Fay rolled over to face me with a grin and a wink.

"For an inflatable." She added in an undertone causing me to laugh once before shoving my fist in my mouth.

"I just want to look good for Wonny-kins!" Lavender sighed

"I don't think it matters personally." I whispered to Fay behind my hand.

"He only ever sees the inside of her mouth." Fay giggled this time. She lent out of bed slightly and I mimicked her so our heads were merely inches apart. "Yuh?" I asked quietly.

"From what I've heard he's also seen under her shirt." I blanched.

"It's just rumour Mi." Fay continued trying to make me feel better.

"Oi?" Lavender announced to us, hands on hips, eyes narrowed.

"Yesssss?" Fay asked tiredly, pulling herself up into a sitting position. Lavender took in Fay's crumpled Puddlemere t-shirt and dark curly hair tugged into a bundled knot on top of her head with a superior smirk.

"Aren't you getting up?" Lavender asked with a cluck of her tongue against the roof of her mouth as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Lavender, it's Saturday." Fay said slowly as though talking to a child who had just said something stupid.

"Oh my God Dunbar. Are you stupid or something?" I let out a derisive snort. Parvati's dark eyes narrowed on me.

"It's the Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw match, duuuh." Parvati added.

"Yes, Patil. There is a Quidditch match on today. At 12 o clock." Fay continued in the same tone as before. Parvati and Lavender rolled their eyes simultaneously.

"Oh my God! Do you and Granger even like boys? I mean Tom Vander is playing for Hufflepuff and last time his shirt got ripped open you didn't even bat an eyelid." Lavender sighed lazily.

"Yeah! You're probably going to come to the match in jeans and a turtleneck. Heaven forbid you show a little flesh!" Parvati sneered before sitting down on the end of my bed with a soft 'pfhlump'.

"What's wrong with jeans?" I asked confusedly and even Fay burst out laughing. Lavender bounced onto Fay's bed. Parvati and Lavender shared a secretive look.

"Vander's eight pack can wait." Parvati murmured thoughtfully.

"We are going to find you two saddos boyfriends." Lavender concluded with an evil grimace set on her make up smeared features.

"No." I gulped audibly.

"I don't need a man." Fay decided as she rolled out of bed and sashayed across to the bathroom her short daisy print boxers peeking out from under her oversized shirt.

"I hear Seamus Finnegan has the hots for you." Parvati said coyly and Fay's retreating frame paused momentarily before she resumed her normal swagger. However the keen eyes of Parvati and Lavender had caught her hesitation.

"You and Finnegan, that is sooooo cute!" Lavender squealed excitedly.

Parvati nodded enthusiastically. I rolled my eyes and slid back under the covers.

"And what about you my little bookworm?" Lavender cooed as she stretched out on my bed and pulled the duvet back from around my chin. "C'mon you've got to have a crush on someone! Anyone?" I felt my cheeks begin to burn.

"Gah! Granger has a crush! What's his name?" Parvati gushed as she flopped into her stomach and crawled further up the bed. I panicked. How on Earth was I to explain that I had a crush on Lavender's. 'Wonny-kins'? Beats me. I ran my tongue along my teeth and tried to act cool. I couldn't say Ron. Dean was going out with Ginny. Seamus looked set to be going out with Fay. Neville, bless him, just no. And any half wit could spot that he was madly in love with Luna. Leaving Harry, my best friend. I couldn't tell them I fancied Harry! Everyone knew Harry fancied Cho Chang...and I knew he fancied Ginny Weasley. So that left the boys from other houses...

"Not saying." I said firmly.

"Fine then, we'll play 20 questions...we don't have a name by the twentieth you never have to to mention this mysterious lad again. Deal?" Lavender asked. I extended my hand and shook on it.

1. "How tall is he?" Lavender started. I panicked immediately, how was I meant to know how tall my fictional crush is?

"He's about average to tallish."

2. "Does he play Quidditch?" Fay asked with a twinkle in her eye obviously thinking of the current Gryffindor Keeper.

"Uh..yeah."

3. "Does he have nice hair?" Parvati asked idly as she twisted one of her own locks around her finger. Hair? This guy didn't even have a name never mind hair!

"Yeah..nice hair. Real nice hair."

4. "Does he have a fit body?" Romilda asked. I wasn't sure. Ron certainly wasn't any Tom Vanders but he had a nice enough body.

"Yeah. He's slim though."

5. "Is he in Gryffindor?" Lavender scrutinused running through the five boys in her head.

"No!"

5. "Is he popular?" Parvati asked. Of course Parvati would care about popularity.

"Yeah he's pretty popular in his own house."

6. "Is he clever?" Fay asked sneakily knowing that Ron needed a lot of help with his essays and never concentrated in class.

"Yu-huh. He's smart."

7. "Is he rich?" Trust Romlida 'Vain' to ask that. It was only really the Weasleys (and I felt mean saying it) that are really poor at Hogwarts. The majority of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws are well off and all the Slytherins are rolling in it.

"Yeah I guess."

8. "Is he a muggle born?" Lavender asked knowing fine well that this would narrow it down.

"No."

9. "Half blood?" Parvati asked.

"Um no?"

10. "Is he a pure blood then?" Fay asked with that stupid twinkle back in her eye.

"Yeah."

11. "Is he in our year?" Romilda asked. I was rather taken aback by the fact that she'd asked a sensible question.

"Yes."

12. "Is he good looking?" Lavender was right back down to the superficial stuff.

"Yes, well I think so."

13. "Is he a guy?" No need to even ponder that mortifying question from Parvati.

"YES OF COURSE!"

14. "Does he have a signature feature? Like the colour of his hair or a bright coloured eyes?" Fay asked and I knew she was hinting at Ron's red hair.

"Yeah..kinda."

15. "Do we know him?" Romilda asked causing my mind to race. If we knew him he'd be popular and hadn't I said that already?

"Yep. Not really well though."

16. "Is his family well known?" Lavender asked causing me to pause momentarily. Most pure-bloods have very well-known names..

"Yeah very."

17. "Are you good friends with him?" Parvati asked, unlike Parvati who had a twin sister in Ravenclaw and had good relations with other houses. I didn't really know any of the other guys in other houses apart from Ernie Macmillan and it would be a stretch to call him a good friend...

"No."

18. "Does he know your name?" Fay asked. After being best friends with Harry Potter for 6 years and the various escapades that succeeded that pretty much everyone knew me.

"Yes."

19. "Is he like known to be hot? Or is he just some bookworm that you have a crush on?" Romilda asked. Just some bookworm I have a crush on? Ron was far from a bookworm and not exactly hot. But, I reminded myself...this wasn't Ron.

"Yeah."

20. "Is your crush Draco Malfoy?" Lavender asked carefully. I turned bright red and started spluttering indignantly.


End file.
